Crunchy Thanksgiving! (2022 edition)
I’m honestly a bit surprised that, as far as I can tell, no American food manufacturer has made an actual Thanksgiving novelty cereal. I mean, there’s about a dozen for Halloween and Christmas each.
Speaking of which, just in case anybody’s curious, the ACTUAL cereal in that bowl is a mix of Halloween Cap’n Crunch, Count Chocula with the marshmallows picked out, and Hocus Pocus 2… and I think I just answered my own question about why there’s no Thanksgiving cereal, seeing as I still have this much Halloween ones left over.
Anyway, if you’re only just now checking in on the site for the week, there IS a non-turkey-related comic that went up Tuesday, and there’s SHOULD be a new TWC Voting Incentive going up sometime tomorrow… depending on how long it takes me to wake from the food coma.
They do make Thanksgiving dinner-flavored candy corn. It has 5 flavors: turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, green beans, and cranberry sauce. The cranberry sauce one is the only non-terrible flavor, because fruit is a perfectly reasonable thing for candy to taste like. The problem isn’t that they taste bad though, the problem is that they have the texture of candy corn and taste like EXACTLY what they say.
That sounds every bit as awful as those Thanksgiving Dinner-flavored Jones Soda packs they used to make. I morn for your tastebuds.
Yeah, they’re a crime against mankind and all known gods. And maybe a few we haven’t located yet.
Nah, ya’ll have got this all wrong – when Edmund Hillary was asked why he climbed Everest he supposedly said “Because it’s there” – it wasn’t because he enjoyed, frostbite, hypothermia, and suffocation – and that is why you eat these one-off cereals, sodas, candy corns etc – it’s not DESPITE the fact that the flavor combinations are abjectly horrifying, but BECAUSE they are! Like Everest, it’s the challenge that makes it worth doing! 🙂 If Everest was easy, if these cereals were delicious – what would even be the point?
**Disclaimer, I probably should not claim to be any sort of expert here, as I may be the only person in the US who has never even once in their life eaten any of the “traditional American Junk Food Breakfast Cereals” – Capn Crunch, Trix, Fruit Loops, etc. never got to as a kid, never wanted to as an adult. I’m really more of a Layla in that respect: Savory >> sweet.
So…. Judging by that photo, Americans feed their children expanded polystyrene packaging chips for breakfast. That explains so much! ;-Ꝥ
i mean… nothing you’ve said there is incorrect (though I’ll ALSO say that my own parents would never let me eat this junk as a kid)
Honestly, I have heard that large confectionary stores here in Australia’s current Big Sellers are the Sugary Confections that the US pretends is Cereal, such as the above, Lucky Charms and the like.
And remember, this is Australia we’re talking about. While our Cereal is usually comparatively healthy (Coco Pops & Fruit Loops aside), our standard supermarket stores have entire aisle’s to chocolate & sweets, a second for chips/crisps, and a third for biscuits. Okay, it’s not both sides of the row for them… usually, but they ARE typically fairly long.
Sounds like US stores, except here it really is both sides of the Aisle. And another couple aisles of pseudo-“health” foods that are actually worse than the junk foods.
Where is Tarkus and his nutritional paranoia when we really need him? 🙂
He’s probably huddled in a corner having a breakdown at the thought of being served that for breakfast.
That seems likely 🙂
The irony is, that kid’s gazillionaire overprotective parents have almost certainly (without his knowledge of course) loaded him up with armies of protective nannites, genetic modifications, and bioengineered toxin filtering extra internal organs that he could probably guzzle a gallon of cyanide and follow it up with a VX nerve gas chaser and be completely unharmed. The only person on that ship more invulnerable than him is probably Avatar. (Maybe Stilez also, but she’s vulnerable to soapy water attack)
Oh my gosh that’s fantastic
*writes that down*
Alternatively Tarkus’s parent’s are the negligent sort instead of the overprotective sort, while Hiro’s parent’s are the overprotective sort that have him able to survive almost anything short of Stillez or the universe being destroyed. In exchange, Hiro’s physical capabilities are far harder to increase than normal (muscles develop by tearing and rebuilding themselves), which is why Hiro’s never been able to win or even really compete in a proper sporting competition.