REALLY Other Characters
Vashti
Rock and Roll superstar to end all Rock and Roll Superstars, Vashti is renowned for her spectacular live shows. Early in her career she underwent extensive genetic modification to become the bug-woman heroine of a certain concept album, and it’s remained her trademark image ever since.
Rumiko Cherry
Renowned record producer and children’s choir conductor. Rumiko’s well known for her work with orphanages and other projects for disadvantaged children, especially when it comes to sappy children’s specials.
Maureen Phaedo & Sandy Pearl Hume
Maureen and Sandy are the teenybopper stars of the wildly popular (and wildly stupid) children’s sitcom “Principal Baby”. Not willing to allow their fifteen minutes of fame to pass unused, both young starlets have launched major socio-political movements. Maureen runs an extensive line of anti-capitalist merchandise, while Sandy has founded a philosophy of cynicism. Both are quite popular.
Norman “Principal Baby” Leitch
The theoretical star of “Principal Baby”, though he isn’t actually a baby. Leitch just had his growth surgically halted at a very early age to that he could remain a “child actor” forever. He also abuses virtually every substance known to man, mostly out of aggravation that he’s a secondary character in his own show.
Parker Renoir
Another rising starlet, similar to Sandy & Maureen except that Parker appears in “serious” movies rather than teenybopper sitcoms. It seems to be paying off, since Parker’s been in the news a LOT lately.
Noel Karwonski
Famed, and ABSURDLY prolific children’s author. Basically, if you’re a child in the future, you grew up on Karwonski’s stories. Despite this cultural omnipresence, he’s pretty much just a normal guy. Presumably, his agent’s not very good, or he’d be a lot richer.
Princesses Castral & Iconal
A pair of wildly rich, wildly irresponsible, and just plain WILD sisters who constantly appear in the tabloids. Generally, it’s because of drunken revelry that resulted in property damage. Good luck finding anybody who knows what they’re actually the princesses OF.
David Van Der Welt
Senior Executive Santa of the Interplanetary Santa Claus Corporation, the group that transports toys across the universe every Christmas. As befitting a person who made Christmas into his career, he’s a pretty jolly guy.
Ursula Madrigal
A legendary screen diva from yesteryear, Ursula is better known now for throwing public tantrums and being tabloid fodder than for acting, which she tends to do less and less of these days.
Anita Mannheim
Domestic goddess, star of numerous home improvement guides, and general idol to ambitious homemakers across the universe. If you ever see some expensive kitchen trinket or yard improvement chemical advertised, odds are good Mannheim’s the one selling it.
Princess Rheiko la Arwall chu Jehtkyo
The only member of the Royal Family of Jehtkyo to be unaccounted for after the bloody, planet-wide revolution. Realistically, all experts believe Rheiko was killed along with the rest of her family, her body simply being misplaced, but popular culture has latched on to her as a real-life fairy tale figure. There are thousands of different fantasy stories purporting to tell the “real story” of The Lost Princess, none of which touch on the unpleasant reality.
Skyscraper Girls
First off, they’re actually all boys. The name was just a goofy idea that sounded good at the time and now they’re stuck with it. Skyscraper Girls are a boy band popular with teenyboppers across the universe, who WISH they could be taken more seriously as actual artists rather than just cute boys who happen to sing.
Neva
An alien scientist sent to study humanity, constantly being exasperated by the primitive species foibles. Of course, as everyone knows, aliens don’t actually exist. Neva’s just an animated character that’s remained popular for a very, VERY long time.
Migraine Ninja Kitty
A new marketing mascot that’s become increasingly popular recently. After all, who doesn’t love cats, respect ninjas, and sympathize with having a headache?
Gright
Gright The Suicide Doll is probably the most depressing merchandizing mascot ever conceived: a gross little blob with a head wound who encourages you to stop being a wimp and just go for it. Of course, he’s wildly popular.